AN ODE TO MORNING WOOD
Morning wood, oh morning wood,
How'd you arise before I did?
Why must you make me walk all funny
Whenever I walk by Dad and Mummy?
It's just too hard to still look cool
Walking into class every day at school
Teacher says "If you can't keep yourself,
By God, then Glue will"
And riding home upon the bus,
I take two seats (for both of us).
At my porch, you've no signs of shying,
I knock on the door without even trying
And now the dogs won't leave you alone
(They've already finished their other bone)
But come dinner time, you're almost dead
And I feel the blood coming back to my head
Before you, I could jump and dance
And run 'round in my pajama pants,
But now the moment that I wake,
There are…certain measures I must take.
It's not just that you're unrelenting,
Sometimes you're quite misrepresenting.
To lookers-on, you look quite iffy,
to say the least, sweet semi-stiffy.
Finally at night, you're gone
Only to rise with the very next dawn.
But short of chopping it off